Walk with Me

You were born some years ago, but the minute you were born you started dying. Why do we come into this world only to end up dead in the end? I believe everyone was brought into this world with a purpose. Either to make the world a better place, or the other way so people would actually appreciate the goods. Everything we do is a side effect of dying. Death is the only certain thing.

It terrifies me knowing that people falls into some pattern of routines. You got up at 6am, got ready, breakfast, and by 7:30am you're out of the house to catch the sardine-packed train. By 8:30am you're at your desk sipping a mug of hot coffee or tea, while waiting for your computer to come up to live. Work and then lunch, and work some more. 5pm, you start packing for home. 5:30pm you catch the sardine-packed train again. On your way back, you grab dinner. 9pm you're nicely dressed in your pajamas. You watch TV or maybe you read and when it's 10:30pm, you turn off the lights and get ready for bed. You need a good rest to start the same routine again, tomorrow. This idea terrifies the living fuck out of me.

I don't want to live knowing I'll be doing the same thing again tomorrow. That idea, I don't find it comforting at all. I want life to surprise at every corner. I don't want to fall into the same routine as everyone else. I don't want to be just another face in the crowd. I don't want to be one of those sardines. I want to matter. I want my life to be exciting. My only problem is, I also crave solitude at the same time. I don't want to be popularly known. I just want to be in my own world, but at the same time I'm scared of becoming just an ordinary Jane.

When my life passes me someday, I want it to matters. I want to leave a mark upon this world, but not the kind of marks that leave scar. For God's sake, I'm not here to hurt the world. I just want to remember me, when I'm gone. Maybe I want to leave a kind of mark that's like a tattoo. A tattoo with meanings. I want to touch lives. Not in a heroic kind of ways, but you know what I mean. I'm scared of falling into the state of oblivion. I don't want to be forgotten, because I want to be remembered as someone who has done something good for the world. Maybe not for the whole world. Just a little part of it will do.