Walk with Me

I was talking to a friend today about some shit I did a few years back, and how not a single day went by that I do not live with regret. Her question got me dumbfounded.

"Why did you do it?"

My thoughts were circling around in my mind, trying to find the reason why. After a few minutes, I told her simply because I'm not a good person. She didn't let it go, and asked me to tell her the truth. I told her I guess I did it because that's how I felt at the time. She then asked,

"Why did you feel that way in the first place?"

I told her I don't know. I guess it's because I'm not a good person to begin with. Again, she told me to tell her the truth. For a good five minutes, I could not answer her. Then I told her maybe it's because I felt ditched by my own friend, when she made friends with other people. Instead of telling me how stupid I was,

"So you were hurt."

was what she said. I went silence and just like that, she shifted my point of view about the whole situation. For years, I've always thought that I was the bad guy in the situation. Although I have been forgiven, I have never really forgive myself for what I did. To others, it wasn't that big of a deal to beat myself up for years. To me, it defined who I am.

Just like that, she made me realize that I was hurt. Hence, my being foolish. There are always reasons why a person is the way they are. Most often than not, they might have been hurt at some point in life. Some pains we feel, like a blister on your foot. Some pains we don't feel, until it's visible. Like a small cut on your finger, you don't feel it until you it.